PTY=>MEX
Last night we had a goodbye dinner with a few of the other residents. We went to our preferred grill and I had the usual grilled chicken and yucca. It was nice to say bye to the Germans, the Korean, and the Oregonian. I hope our Korean friend can find a way out of Panama. Since I know Panama is listening, help this guy out before he becomes an illegal immigrant. His embassy won’t help and it looks like Panama is going to follow suit. On a positive note, I’m looking forward to having a place to stay in Germany. It was weird knowing we were leaving. We all had this bonding experience (aka robbery) that really brought us close together. It felt like a family was being broken apart.
After dinner we went home and packed. I spoke with Stuart for a bit. I sincerely mean it when I say Mamallena is a great hostel and one you should consider staying in. The even have an armed security guard now! I passed out right quick so we could make our flight.
We received our wake up call and headed to the airport. Rafael drove us and this guy is great. One of the few born and bred Panamanians that I met who is worth his weight in gold. This guy is going to make something of himself. I recommend you use him as your taxi and that you take his city tour.
Jill and I had the usual fun time going through customs and immigration. We had a generally uneventful flight. We had chicken and Spanish rice that was amazing for airline food. We also got to watch the new Star Trek. Jill and I safely made it to the other side of customs in Mexico City around 230pm. I had to laugh as the drug dog pranced across everyones luggage before they put it on the conveyor.
We then took an authorized taxi for 275pesos to the City Express hotel. There is tons of traffic but on the way over you get a positive impression of the place. Everyone we’ve spoken to who has been to this city loves it. Just driving around, even in traffic, I started getting really happy. Mexico has a special place in my heart and I’m looking forward to the next bit. This hotel is about a 1000pesos a night. It is damn ritzy. It is quite a change from what we have been living for the past month and a half. For those of you that are unaware, the current exchange rate is 13 to 1. Jill and I get to relax until this evening when we will start the very enjoyable (I assume) process of being oriented.
San Blas 4 Salvation
Monday
I spent a lot of it trying to figure out what to do and our group was making decisions on how to salvage our vacation. We found a hilarious rendition of the robbery in the news. Way to be accurate guys.
I ended up heading to the police station when I was going down to the internet cafe. I got to expand my statement and make it more detailed.
Stuart and I ended up walking back to the hostel from the San Felipe police station. We took Ave Central and it was really cool. It was a closed off street filled with shopping areas and locals. We stopped to pick up a beverage that was comprised of pineapple, Nesquick, and syrup. It was delightful. If you stop and drink some they will put whatever was left in the blender in your cup. We stopped at a few places along the way and he looked at appliances and other things to purchase for the hostel. When we got back our group had decided to do San Blas with Iron Garcia.
Tuesday
We got up at 430am to be ready for our driver. We grabbed all of our stuff and waited upstairs. He was late so I guess he was on Panamanian time. He showed up in an old Mitsubishi pick up truck to take 8 of us. Well he realized this and called for another driver. A new guy showed up after 600am. The 2 cars and a motorcycle was our caravan and we started making our way. Our car stopped to pick up another couple of people. An hour later we stopped for breakfast. Our driver as we would find out would stop to eat and talk to anyone around every 15 minutes. This guy was a nightmare. He stopped for bananas, sandwiches, fried chicken, and god knows what else. We ran out of paved road and paid the Kuna congress to get into their land. We drove through a river and finally stopped at a makeshift dock. The ocean was nowhere in sight. Iron gathered us up and we took the river down to the ocean. We started the hour trek across the sea to Cabana Narascandue. This would be one of the many times I would regret having my camera stolen. We sat around on the beach until lunch. He served us rice and chicken. It was magnificent. Jill, Corey, and I grabbed the snorkels and hit the beach. There was an amazing amount of coral, tropical fish (one looked like a Parrot fish), and trash. We made sure to avoid the side of the island with the pier toilet (that’s right they shit into the ocean and let you swim around). We spent enough hours out there to change from white to red. Dinner was lobster, crab, rice, and potatoes. It was ridiculous. I went to the stuffy cabin and passed out.
Wednesday
Since I burned yesterday and so did Jill. We hid in the shade for most of the day. I did a lot of quality napping. We were going to try to go snorkeling at a shipwreck but a storm came. Jill, Corey, and I played in the water while it rained. It was amazing and the water was warmer than the air. Vy went home because he got sick. He curses this country now. A batch of bananas drifted by and Corey and I started hucking them at each other. Banana fights are ridiculous. We dried off and went to the picnic table. Everyone decided it was time to get blitzed. We drank a couple bottles of rum, around 10 Cokes, and 4 beers. We were with this German couple – Sandra and Frank, a Brit – Jennie, and an Oregonian – Tamara. Another group had gone to another island to witness a rite of passage ceremony for girls. I was recommended to look for Flor de Cana and Legendario – Ron de Cuba. I taught my mom how to shotgun a beer. That was hilarious. I went and passed out after dinner.
Thursday
We all got up early on for breakfast. Breakfast was eggs, bread, and coffee. The coffee here is fantastic. I generally dislike coffee but I can drink and enjoy a cup with a spoonful of sugar. We hopped on Iron’s boat to go to Isla Pero (Dog Island) to go snorkeling. Dog Island has a modern shipwreck that makes for amazing snorkeling. We dodged jellyfish. The ones at Dog Island were smaller and less threatening than the ones at our cabins. The coral and other sea life completely took over this ship. I mourned for the loss of my waterproof camera yet again. I went for a quick walk around the island. We were all rounded up to go home. Iron took us back to the dock where we were picked up by a new driver. This driver was much better and I am glad we didn’t pay the other guy for a return trip. He crammed 7 of us into the back of his Landrover. Jill demanded he play reggaeton. We drove for hours down a windy bumpy road. The officials didn’t care to check our passports and we stopped briefly to grab a snack. We drove all the way back to Panama City with little trouble. We got back to the hostel and everyone else showered while I reported serial numbers and wrote this entry.
Post Script
San Blas managed to save Panama for me. If I come back it is straight to Bocas del Toro and Boquette. Fuck Panama City. It has a long way to go. Right now you can see all of it in a day and then you are left with clubs and eating. It feels like America and I don’t go to other countries to see America. One Panamanian I met said that “Panamanians are trying to be Americans being Europeans”.
In the words of another Panamanian I met, “the only thing wrong with Panama is the Panamanians”. In my opinion, the Panamanians I’ve met have a weird sense of entitlement. Anything you have they deserve because it won’t matter or effect you. I got a completely different impression of the Kuna. I think to call the Kuna, Panamanians is an insult. They are all nice and generous. I never had one try to swindle me. They were all very upfront with how things work.
If I could do it over again, I would have done the city tour with Rafael, then shot up to Bocas del Toro and Boquette, then back down to San Blas, and then finish in Panama City the night before my flight.
Policia Turismo
So the other night right after we went to bed, shit went downhill. We were sleeping when a loud banging happened against the door. Around the 3rd time I shouted what and got up to go to the door. I slid open the window and turned on the light. I asked the girl who was standing closest to the door about what was going on. She avoided the questions and told me the people that were behind her were rancheros. I asked what was going on and she told me what does it look like. I was told we need to open the door and go upstairs. I wanted to keep asking questions but that was when a silver pistol was cocked and leveled in my face. My hands went up and I tried to calm the guy down. I turned around and told Jill to get up we were being robbed. I also took a mental note that all of our valuables were sitting on the nightstand.
We were herded upstairs into a dormroom filled with other residents. I had a shit ton of adrenaline pumping through. I sat down next to the door. I didn´t have my contacts in, so I didn´t see them as well as I wish I had. One of the girls got nauseuos and started going into shock. She was escorted to the bathroom. In the center of the room was an elderly man tied up. I initially thought he was a taxi driver who picked up the wrong fare. It turns out he is an ex-marine that lives next door and (supposedly) wanted to warn us. A few other people in the room were bound as well. A couple girls were crying and one went to the bathroom. Anyone that left the room ended up going to the other room. Jill and I had hoped they didn´t realize there was a back wall to the hostel. Unfortunately they did and we saw my mom and brother get escorted in. As I found out later every male in that room was tied. It scared/pissed me off when I saw them pull him out of the room. The owner of the hostel was being pulled in and out of the room to help the robbers. Eventually the translator was shoved into the room and she told us how she fended off the rapists. These guys had initially promised to take cash and leave but they got greedy and kept taking longer. Right before they left they stole the shirt off of the back of one of the German guests and they demanded my $20 Casio watch off of my wrist. The 4 of them took their leave of us and we slowly got out of the dorm room. The owner told us to take whatever drinks we wanted and they would get the police. I checked on my mother and brother to make sure they were ok.
From there I went downstairs to check on Vy. He simply didn´t answer the door and they couldn´t find the key to open his door. The bastard escaped scott free. Jill and I went to our room to take inventory. A little bit into that I was pulled out to go with the undercover cops to activate my computers security system. I needed a translator and the girl who had been the translator for the other guys jumped at the chance. She seemed really sincere and emotional in Spanish but she didn´t seem as convincing in English. We got to an internet cafe near the casinos and I logged on to activate it. She asked me how it worked and then what kind of computer I have. That sent off a trigger in my mind.
I got back and went through all of my belongings. I knew exactly what I had packed and went through slowly and deliberately. I initially thought they had stolen all of my shirts but they had just piled them in Jills things. They only stole cash (approximately $70) and electronics (Canon Powershot D10, Macbook Air, black USB cable, and white Apple headphones, Casio digital watch) from me. I had found Jill´s purse on the counter and inside was her camera and $500 cash. I got pretty screwed and I lost a lot of data (all my pictures of Panama and all the music I had gotten since I left). I got some sleep.
In the morning we were talking about what we want to do. The police came and brought a bus to take us to the station to make a report. They sat us down in a room while a guy did paperwork. The Israeli´s we were with decided to get lunch and we followed. An officer came out and was like what are you doing, we told him we wanted food, and then he recommended the Coca Cola Cafe around the corner. We had lunch and I had a lomo sandwich.
We made our way back to the police department and it looked like nothing was going to happen. I walked into the room where everything was happening and decided to get shit done. At the rate people were being interviewed it was going to take a few days. The first group had been there for 8 hours and only 4 of them had been interviewed. We were offered food and there I met the secretary general of tourism and I explained what had happened. She told me that this is a weird occurence (43 tourists of varying nationalities robbed at gunpoint for 3 hours with no cops) and she was sorry that this had happened. I told here I wanted to make a report and talk to the US Embassy. She got someone from the embassy down there in a little bit and I proceeded to talk on his phone to someone who speaks English. I explained everything and I was assured they would have their legal liasons get involved. Who knows how much smoke was being blown up my ass though. The embassy in the end told me tough shit. You lost a lot, the Panamanians are doing what they can, and you still have your passport and creditcards. Awesome, thanks government.
The secretary general has offered us a new place to stay in Casco Viejo and food. We decided we should talk to Vy before we make any decisions. Eventually I was called up for an interview and I related the story above with more detail to the officer. I now have a copy of the police report and we were given a ride by the tourism authority. They took us to McDonalds and supposedly they were going to buy us food but someone fucked that up. They drove us to the hostel and we sat around talking. I talked with the ex-marine and then the owner of the hostel. There is a rumor this was an inside job. Anyone could be a subject right now but according to a rumor a major at the police department says that the police shift that was on duty and the female translator are prime suspects. I think anyone who dealt with the robbers should be investigated.
The minister of tourism had taken a flight from Costa Rica to Panama City just to talk with us. He showed up at our hostel and apologized. He said he would do whatever is within his power but realistically I doubt anything is going to happen. I think at this point the police and the government are trying to contain this. It could become a real shit storm.
So I sit here now in an internet cafe trying to salvage my vacation. Panama has left a lovely impression and I am tempted to blacklist this entire country from my life. At the very least this city is one I will never come back to. I may even avoid layovers here. So here I am, I´ve lost thousands and I´ve gained rumors. The cops say they will find them and I hear that means they will. In my eyes this is just a fucked up game of Clue. It was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the library.
A very sincere, fuck you to Panama.
Mall of the Dead
Today is Jessi’s last day with us in Panama City. We started off the day by heading back to Cafe Tortoni. I had pineapple juice and an egg sandwich. From there we did what she has been begging us to do. I say begging in a figurative sense because everything she wants to do is phrased as “does anyone want to ——”. So we take a taxi over there and go in near the movie theater. We take a picture with the t-rex and our first stop is Super 99, the supermarket chain owned by the current president, Martinelli (of relation to the sparkling cider). We do some exploring and I pick up a Red Bull. From there we drop into shops that Vy thinks are entertaining. We break off from the girls after I get Jill to take pictures with the giraffe and spanking a zebra. I find an elephant and mimic it while a kid stares in awe at my majestic glory.
Around 300pm we all meet up and go to Rock Burger inside the bowling alley. The food was nothing special. I had a 1/3 burger and a coke. I was also able to score some patacones off of Jill. We took a picture in the wooden cutout. The girls wanted to continue shopping for a couple more hours and I was less than enthused. Vy, Corey and myself break off and go for a wander. We hop into this gangster (hip hop not 20′s) Brooklyn store and see the most amazing $20USD shoes. They are gold and glitter magic. They have a whole series of Kashi brand shoes that are glitter and ridiculous. I am trying to get Vy to buy a pair too so we can strut. We are both immensely tempted but they only have the golden ones in a size US 13 and I really wanted the red zebra ones. So we resist the urge and continue walking. We found a diorama model of biblical Bethlehem. It was pretty ridiculous. I take a picture with a lion and we meet up again at 600pm. Vy and Jill decide they want pedicures.
I am done with the mall at this point and decide to head home. On the way out I tried stopping at the Super 99 for some pancake toppings but I couldn’t find any nutella and didn’t have any fruit in mind. I hailed a cab and told him “La Junta Comunal de Calidonia, perejil, Colegio Javier”. He gets a big grin and tells me $3. Corey, mom, and I get in the car. He starts to question me if I really want to go there and if I am certain I want to go to Mamallena. I reassure him and he just chuckles and says ok. Everyone knows where this hostel is and everyone knows something I don’t. I am dead sure that this hostel has a reputation and isn’t going to tell me about it. I feel like I’m in Dagon by H.P. Lovecraft. The entire town knows and by the time I find out it’s going to be too late and my soul will belong to the fish people. We get back to the hostel, a couple people shower, and we wait for the others to arrive before deciding on dinner. There was a brief scare where I thought we lost our guidebook in the process of moving from room 8 (small room with a cool key chain, go 8 ball) to room 2 (big room with a crap key chain and lock).
Everyone is back at the hostel, Jill and Jessi make pancakes, Vy hammocks, and the rest of us sit around. I expressed interest in going to islands on the morrow and not much happened in response so I learn to play Gridwork. Mom, Corey and I say bye to Jessi and head to the grill that we went to last night. I order a Corona and lime, polla al carbon, and yuca frita. The Corona was a nice slice of home. The chicken was cooked a little bit differently and I wonder if there was another chef or if the guy decided I needed more BBQ sauce. Either way it was taste-tastic. Yuca as I’ve mentioned before is way better than the papa fritas down here. It’s a dryer potato texture but with a sweet aftertaste. If you toss on some salt and pepper they get infinitely better. We talked at the table about our options for tomorrow and we focused on Taboga, Perlas, and San Blas (all islands). By the end of dinner it was decided and we asked Vy and Jill if they were cool with it.
So I get to wake everyone up at 730am so we can get sandwiches from across the street, be at the Causeway by 930am, and on the boat at 1030am. Goodnight folks.
In the City
We got nice and early to meet Rafael for a tour of Panama City. Jill, Jessi, Vy and myself all had pancakes with bananas and honey for breakfast. I had to go retrieve Corey and mom from the depths of slumber. First Rafael took us to the ruins at Panama Viejo. He showed us the Virgin Mary Convent and well. The well could hold a 100,000 liters of water and they have found catacombs and tunnels underneath but they have not been fully excavated yet. From there we went to the bell tower. The tower is the only remaining part of the main square and church. The church was built to look like a cross from an aerial view and it did not survive the sacking of the city by Captain Morgan. We climbed the 22 meter tower and saw a panoramic view of Panama City both old and new.
After that we went to the church that has the altar that was saved during the pillaging of the city. The rumor is that there was a priest so good at getting donations that most of the towns people would hide if they saw him coming in fear of being persuaded to give away their possessions to the church. Well this priest was able to get enough money to get this gorgeous golden altar. When he heard that Captain Morgan was coming he buried 2/3′s of it where it would be hidden by the tide and the rest he painted black. Captain Morgan shows up and demands to know where the altar is. The priest tells him it was stolen by a previous pirate raid and they are collecting donations for a new one. Morgan eyes him, gives him some money, and says “I think you are a better thief than I am”.
Then it was off to Casco Viejo and the French Plaza. It is the square that has the French embassy and also a building that was in Quantum of Solace. The square commemorates the French’s effort in building the canal and they have erected a giant obelisk with a rooster on top. It is amazingly phallic on several levels. I joked with Vy that the French are a bunch of cocks (rooster get it). Vy bought a Panama Hat. The Panama Hat was made famous by a picture of Churchill at the canal. The hats are actually made and popular in Ecuador. We walked down lover’s lane back towards the car. We had moved a no parking sign and it had since been chained back up. So while everyone was trying to come up with some way to escape I sneaked into an open dilapidated building. I was able to pick up some gorgeous urban decay photos before I had to rush back to the car. I really want to make it back there.
We drove back out through the black market. This is a literal black market. You can buy anything there. Whether it’s the stereo that was stolen out of your car or a toucan. A couple stalls have bird cages out front to signify that they have rare and endangered birds for sale. Rafael said I could probably pick up a toucan for $150USD. After the black market we drove through gang territory and slums. These areas are nicknamed Baghdad, Vietnam, and 28th Street. Vietnam hates both of them and traditionally Baghdad and 28th St. have gotten along. Recently though an argument that resulted in Baghdad slapping a 28th St. girl has resulted in all of them shooting each other. So far at least one person has died a day in the last week. There was a police checkpoint we had to go through. I was informed that the police have 38′s and the gangs have AK’s. The police have basic training and the gangs are trained and armed by ex-military due to the 1989 US invasion. It is really interesting because the surrounding areas are in chaos and Casco Viejo is experiencing gentrification.
From there we went to the Causeway. This is an artificial peninsula that connects three islands and extends past the canal. From here you can see the Bridge of the Americas which used to be the only bridge across the canal. The Hundred Years Bridge is the second bridge that was built to commemorate the canals centennial. We then proceeded to one of the docks near a clubbing district on the isthmus. We fed the tropical fishes and then went up to the flag hill. This place has quite an amazing view of the entire area. From there it was past the powerplant to the canal.
At the Panama Canal we had lunch. Lunch was an expensive buffet overlooking the Miraflores Lock. We watched several large cargo ships get towed through the lock by electric locomotive. After that we tried to find the entrance to the museum and accidentally ended up going in through the exit. Since everyone wasn’t going to go through the main entrance I went alone. I ended up breezing through the museum. I thought it was really nicely done. I then watched the movie and propaganda the ACP provided. They talked about how Richard Haliburton paid the lowest fare to go through the canal ($0.36) and now a new series of locks are on schedule to be completed in 2014. These new locks will allow for cargo ships double the current size to pass through. This will allow an increase in traffic and income for the Panamanian government. After that I went through the museum again and met up with my group. I went to both observation decks. I saw several more large ships pass through and then watched the film a second time. At that point we were all very much done with the canal.
We went outside and looked for the trustworthy cab driver he had pointed out. Since he wasn’t there we tried talking to one of the other guys. He tried to say we needed 2 cabs at $15 a piece. He then said $10, then $8, then $6 final offer. Needless to say I don’t think he realized that when a group of people laughs and says we won’t pay more than $4 and walks away that you are not in control of a negotiation. The only guy who would have offered a reasonable price was waiting. So we walked out of the canal area. We got to a bus station but since we have no idea where the buses go, we tried to hail a cab. One guys said $15 and the rest were wearing the official yellow shirt and wanted to scam us as well. We got sick of this game and walked back to the guard station at the entrance to the power plant. There we met Aldo a black Panamanian with an exquisite sense of humor. He holds 2 degrees but the national minimum wage is $1.25 and the guard post pays $9/hr. He let us use his phone to call Rafael for a pick up. He entertained us while we waited.
Rafael picked all of us up for $10 total. I have the feeling that Mamallena is code for easy pickings. There is something going on here and I don’t like it. Once back at the hostel we spoke with one of the other residents and she told us about a cheap and delicious grill nearby. The grill is across Via Espana, turn right go down left down the first street, and then cross the next street. This place was open air and bustling. I ordered a 1/2 chicken al carbon with platacones. Platacones are fried plantains. Really tastey and a great substitute for fries. So is fried yucca. We also sampled 3 Panamanian beers; Atlas, Balboa, and Soberana. Atlas is a woody heavy lager. Balboa is similar to an American lager. Soberana is a light Mexican pilsner. I would say it is a lighter Corona Light. In this climate I would probably stick to Soberana’s. This climate seriously dehydrates you and it takes quite a bit of caffeine to get me moving. After dinner we went back to hostel and had chocolate cake that Jessi had brought from some bakery in Boquette. We were all quite tired and passed out promptly.
The Arrivals
I woke up freezing at 530am due to an accidental alarm. Around the same time the rain came down with a fury. The lightning lit up the room even with the blinds closed. On a positive note when I went outside the temperature was amazing. I checked the weather at 1045am and it was 22C with 95% humidity. That is fucking amazing. I wish it always were that nice. This is over a 12C difference from yesterday.
We had pancakes and honey for breakfast. Jill tried making crepes for me and I appreciated the effort. I did the dishes per the usual. Since it was raining this morning we decided to stay in instead of going to the beach. As of 145pm the temperatures rose to 28C and the raining appears to have stopped although it looks like they could come back at any moment. Jill and I relaxed on the net. I read texts from last night and my drunk texts. Jessi showed up after 230pm and we caught up for a bit before heading out. We talked about other places to eat in Panama City such as Rock Burger, NY Bagel Cafe and other things we want to do in Panama City.
The plan was to go to Gasthaus Bavaria but they were closed. So we tried going to a restaurant under a hotel but the door was fucked so we finally ended up at PAN PAN BAKERY. I had a hotdog in which the bun was better than the meat. After that we walked back to the hostel and on our way stopped at a mini super. We got honey, bananas, and drinks. When we got back to the hostel we decided to relax until Vy, Corey, and Mom showed up. I drank a Cuba Libre Formula Original Ron & Cola which is basically a rum and coke premixed in a can. It was pretty alright. The finally showed up around 830pm because their flight was delayed. It turns out some plane sucked at getting out of the way. So after some talking we got to thinking it’s dinner time.
We went to Matsuei (the sushi restaurant Jill and I had initially wanted to go to). We picked up 2 taxi’s for our group and went on over that way. The taxi we got was an overweight gentlemen who was somewhere on the ethnic scale between Mexican and Arabian. His name was Carlos and he was trying to rip the gringos off. He even had the nerve to ask for a tip. He gave us his number so we could get a taxi back. It’s a shame thousands of taxi’s roam the streets at any moment. I never had any intention of calling him but that’s what being polite does. The restaurant was literally a bit more than a block from Van Gogh’s and that was just outside casino and stripper territory. We pulled in and the place is empty with the entire staff lined up against the bar watching traffic go by. It was the perfect emo moment. We sat inside and ordered a variety of rolls. Jill and I got the crispy unagi, plantain roll, and a rock and roll roll with iced tea and edamame. The food was good and the service was quick. It looked and felt like a traditional Japanese restaurant in the states. It didn’t look like much from the outside but inside it was nice. Jill and I both agree that the food was better here and the ambiance better at Sake.
After a significant time inside the restaurant we decide to hail a taxi. It just so happens that Carlos had been circling in hopes of picking us up. Creeper. So we grab him and another taxi to follow. We get back and he tries to short change the other group while we never asked for a price from the other taxi driver but instead gave him $2 (which is the real price; $1.25 for the first person and 25c for each person after). He didn’t say anything and for that I like him. The group of us stand around inside the hostel and decide tomorrow is city tour time. So now we have to wake up way too early because Rafael does the tour at 900am. Yay for air conditioned sleep.
Crepes and the Shittiest Taxi
We woke up early and lazed. This is the first time I’ve woken up before the air conditioner turned off (after 800am). Jill and I got up to go to the market. We got some chocolate milk, milk, juice, honey and bananas for a pancake breakfast at the hostel. We threw a load of laundry in the dryer and sat in the social area for awhile. I spent most of the time looking at TripAdvisor and FML.
As we decided to head out for lunch and the beach the rain broke. We went towards Via Espana to catch a cab. This lady who we should have known better picked us up. She was of African descent, had red tightly curled and gelled back hair, wore glasses, and drove a beat up dark car with silver door handles. (I describe her in detail in the hopes that should anyone visit Panama City they will refuse to enter this woman’s car and immediately wish her ill will instead.) She initially refused to give us a price and then after Jill screamed HOW MUCH, she told us $3. She picked us up while she had another passenger. I assumed that meant the lady was getting out within the next block and not a few miles down the road. This lady seemed to have 0 experience driving. She just honked and floored it. I mean granted people don’t follow traffic laws and most of them are suggestions but there is still something akin to order. This ladies car squeaked and churned at every movement it made. Also her door handle was fucked. You had to open the window, reach your arm around, and hit it for the door to latch. She also had no idea where she was going. We would repeat the name of the cross streets and she would shout them back as if they didn’t exist. This ladies Spanish was absolutely atrocious. As we are on our way to Bella Vista district she stops to haggle with a new customer. Fucking awkward. We should have gotten out immediately. So she finally finds the streets and I give her money and she tells us she doesn’t have change. So now we have to go into the restaurant to change money and pay this crazy bitch. The server tells Jill $3 is too much and only to give her $2. We do because we think she doesn’t deserve an inflated gringo price. So she lays on the horn as if that is going to make us want to deal with her shit. We sit at a table and she comes in there and makes a scene about how we owe her money. The server who told us to stiff her relates this to another lady and they tell us she won’t leave until she gets her dollar. We relent because me yelling in English won’t solve anything even though it would have been gratifying. That woman managed to dampen our spirits and start the hate of this city.
So here we are at 49th and Uruguay at Crepes and Waffles. This place is nicely done. It is brick walls with golden wood furniture. The building had only 2 other groups the whole time we were there. Even though that was the case, the food and the service were lacking. It simply wasn’t as speedy or attentive as some of the other restaurants we’ve been to here. The food once it arrived was magnificent. I had a brocolli, cheese, and mushroom crepe and for dessert I had a strawberry and ice cream waffle. After dinner we went walking to try and find a cab. We tried one and he wanted $5 for a maximum $2 ride. So we continued walking. The next guy said sorry I need to pick up my kid from school otherwise it would be a dollar. So we continued walking. We stopped at a mini super aka convenience store and picked up some chips for late night snacking. We got back to the hostel and relaxed. We listened to some of music such as Peaches – I Feel Cream and Phaseone – Thanks But No Thanks and then passed out.
2YR Anniversary
Today is our 2 year anniversary. Jill and I slept in until the air conditioner turned off then we lazed about. We groomed and went upstairs to make pancakes with honey. While we were cooking the dog and kitty got in a play fight. Jill and I then spent the morning planning and looking at things to do before a whole slew of people meet us here at Mamallena in Panama City. The dog played with Jills Pepsi can and it was adorable. The hostels pets are a source of constant entertainment for Jill and I.
We decided to go to La Posta which is a fancy little restaurant at 49 and Uruguay. I had the portobello ravioli and it was quite tastey. The service was quick and professional. The rain finally came so our initial plan of going to the beach was aborted. So we went to the Albrook Mall instead. This mall is ridiculous. It is miles long and 3 stories tall. I don’t think we even crossed a quarter of it in our 5 hours there. We did however get some amazing pictures with the animal statues at the different entrances. Jill found some clothes she liked and it was good. I however could not find any dressy shoes in the event that we go clubbing.
We took a taxi down to the business district for dinner. We went to Sake which is a Japanese Sushi bar that happens to be owned by HSBC. We had 3 rolls and plenty of Coca Cola. The 2 signature rolls were really good but the Volcano left some to be desired even though it was a tempura honey glazed flambe. After that we went back to the hostel.
At the hostel we did another load of laundry and set up Jack and Miri Make a Porno. Not that great but ok in a pinch. I think we were just expecting a better film. I tried Balboa Cerveza Premium (Sabor Intenso) and it was not that premium or intense. It reminded me of a crap lager back in the states. One of the workers put on Brick Lane next. Boring. I felt like this was supposed to be really deep but it was really just about how this Bangladeshi lady’s life sucks because her husband is a fat ignorant fuck. Oh well. We went back to a nice air conditioned room and it was glorious.
Hot and Lazy
Jill and I woke up early due to our conditioning in Peru. It was fairly hot outside but we had had the air conditioning on all night and that was lovely. We got up and took a shower. Jill told me there was no hot water and I scoffed. Then she told me you don’t need it. She was right. I was like ‘oh no this is cold’ and then I was like ‘wait a second, I am burning up, nevermind’. We went on a quest to find an ATM and I found one that seemed safe in a gas station. Yay for trusting Shell and HSBC. We then looked for breakfast and we stopped at Cafe Tortoni across Via Espana which is near our hostel. We had ‘smooth’ eggs and toast followed by ham sandwiches. We also had some weird mixed juice that was fantastic. After that we went to the hostel and the hope was to do laundry but it was occupied. So instead we went up to the balcony/social area and hung out.
This hot climate makes me obscenely lazy. It is 90F right now and the low today is 77F. I cannot wait for the low. The humidity here makes the air thick and heavy. It is a dramatic change from 50F and no air in Cusco. We went to the clinic for Jill and they handed her a bunch of prescriptions. We went back to the hostel to laundry but yet again it was occupied. Jill and I did some planning on things we would like to do here. Personally I wouldn’t mind escaping the heat for awhile. Jill and I played with a kitten. We started our laundry and then went for a walk to find dinner. We passed a store called Super Mini Fuk.
Our hope was to find a sushi restaurant but instead in our wanders found La Esquina Van Gogh Restaurante. We had garlic honey chicken wings as an appetizer. I ordered the mushroom bacon steak with salad and a baked potato. The salad was different but exquisite and the potato was phenomenal. The steak was delicious and the bacon really added to it. Jill had an amazing garlic fish. We walked home as it was getting dark. We walked past all the erotic massage parlors and casinos as I told Jill the intricacies of Panamanian prostitution law. We got back to the hostel, played with the puppy, and set up our laundry. We then proceeded to pass out in the heat lying sideways on the bed when we tried reading.
